(Unofficial) Denim  
PERSONALITIES
 
 
Are you perennially in an identity crisis, like Skinny Jean, or tragically misunderstood, like Flare? Moda’s resident humorist, Rachel Hodin, delivers an amusing series of fictional fashion portraits laced with historical facts. 

Woman wearing skinny jeans
In a bid to distract from her origin story, Skinny turned herself into a chameleonic master of reinvention. It’s actually pretty impressive, to go from pantaloons to penning lyrical ballads alongside Bob Dylan (she swears she was the inspiration for “Tangled Up in Blue”). But it’s also made for quite the rocky trajectory. Her most recent fall from grace came swiftly and mercilessly in 2010 in the form of the jegging. (If you thought that was a hard one to watch, imagine having to BE it.) As one might expect, the jegging saga really took its toll. Sufficiently burnt out, she made like Lindsay Lohan in July 2006, and checked into the hospital for exhaustion.
 
For a second, people thought she was gone for good. But then she hired the millennial branding agency BossLADY and reemerged as a self-proclaimed “modern-day corset,” devoid of all stretch and JUST short of cutting off circulation at the crotch. She’s steadily climbed her way back up to the top, and is once again riding high, often found sitting atop her daybed, with a green juice in hand, feigning comfort with the performative ease of a young Meryl Streep (something she, inexplicably, has been able to keep up throughout quarantine).